Whats His is Mine

What’s Dans is mine. 

Lets be clear. Dan is totally gonna be a bazillionaire one day, but I didn’t marry him for his money, because he didn’t have any. I think he spent it all on our honeymoon and our humongous TV that takes up an entire wall.  Actualllllly, because my parents paid for our wedding(thanks again mom and dad. No, we didn’t forget that we’re supposed to pay you back in grandkids) Dan made money off of marrying me. Whoa, husband totally married me for my money. Jokes on him though, cause now I make zerooo dolla bills a year.

After you get married, “Whats yours is mine,” could not be a truer statement. But I’m talking about a lot more than just money. Ya know, like laundry. Well, what’s his(which happens to be A LOT of clothes for a guy because before he had a wife to do his laundry he just bought new clothes instead of washing his old ones) is mine now. What about my pms? That’s definitely his problem now, especially if I was one of those crazy chicks who throws stuff. Which I’m not. Or at least I never threw anything at him.

Most people associate the statement “Whats yours as mine” as a positive thing. It definitely can be! But what about her shopping addiction and credit card debt? Or his gambling problem and constant snoring? What about her stupid little dog that she won’t get rid of? Or his addiction to video games?

And from my own personal experience, what about violent kung foo dreams. Ya wanna know how his kung foo dreams are now my problem? Because Dan almost killed me one night in his sleep, that’s how.  I didn’t fight back, mainly because I didn’t wake up, but it was an awkward breakfast the next morning. How’d you sleep babe? “Umm, good except I tried to kill you last night during a dream.” Oh um, ok. Be right back, I need to go call my lawyer.

I think you get the point. “Whats yours is mine” is a lot more than it appears to be sometimes. So I’ve gained a lot more laundry to do, and yeah he almost killed me in my sleep. NBD, I forgive him. Plus, I’ve gained so much more good stuff than bad stuff when I married Dan. Whats his has been pretty good since the day I married him, so I’m glad it’s mine.


6 Comments

  1. pat kapsak

    LOL stay alive !!! Yikes !!! I thought blanket stealing all through the nite was something !!! LOL You do make me laugh !! thank you keep em coming !!!

  2. I love the way you write Grace. You’re a storyteller and that is my FAVORITE! Just ask Ms. Abbie….

  3. Your blog posts always make me smile when they come through Grace. I love what you have to say. Plus, your stories usually make me literally laugh out loud.
    And yeah, Dan no more of those “almost killed Grace” dreams!

  4. I don’t like it when you have to share messes with other people lol. That phrase can be used to your advantage sometimes though!!

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