8 of us set sail late afternoon on Saturday. I felt like a young Ben Affect from the Voyage of the Mimi. Id like to thank my 5th grade science teacher for exposing me to Ben Afflects greatest film of all time(google it, just for kicks). Just as we picked enough speed to feel the wind in our hair and feel the lake spray on our faces, we came to a complete stop. Within 5 minutes of setting sail, we were stranded. I always wanted to know what I’d do in a situation like this. I evaluated the sitch. Food in fridge, bathroom on board, i-phone in hand, bathing suit on, sun in the sky. I chose to remain calm and not freak out.
I wanted to set off a flair but instead the captain just called the coast guard with his phone. While we waited we decided to take a dip in the lake. All the girls put on life vests because when we jumped in, we didn’t want to chance our feet touching the bottom. We floated along, but we kept our toes up from any scary toe eating lake monsters. I don’t care what anyone says, I’m still freaked out about crocs and sharks, even in a lake. I mean, what if, someone had a pet alligator/croc/shark in their lake house and it got out and into the lake? All I’m saying is…it could happen.
When the coast guard finally showed up they said they were late because they had to rescue people whose boat sank. Hey, turns out some people were having a worse day than us. The coast guards were intense. They made us all put on life jackets and sit in our seats and not move until we reached shore. I was prepared for some crazy ride but I could swim faster than they were towing us, FYI. The captain of the boat was worried about his precious mini yot. I would be too. Ya know how when you take your car into the shop and you get the bill at the end and you realize you could have bought a small house? Well, imagine that, but on much larger scale.
Once we got to shore, we had a fantastic view of Derek Jeters lake-house-mansion-castle and we decided not to let the unfortunate events ruin our day. We headed to a national state park to eat some food, but there were no tables, so we had to figure out what to sit on. Dan opened his cars trunk and pulled out a blanket and a thin rolled up mattress. Man, I love this guy..he keeps junk in his car like me and it comes in handy at the most opportune times. #Soul mates. We sat down family style and dug into the food. No napkins, no forks, no knives. We all ate with our bare hands and it was awesome. As we sat there we got attacked by large ants and I educated the group on back bears and mountain lions(I’ve been watching a lot of NatGeo netflix.) Always be on the look our for mountain lions, they stalk and strike without warning and go for the back of the neck. After my informative lecture, half the group decided to eat some berries on a nearby bush that may or may not have been poisonous.
This story has a happy ending though. The boat is ok, our friends did not die from eating berries and we all still all got a tan. Happy belated 4th everyone. I hope your weekend was as fun as mine!