Keep Calm and Party On

What do trophy wives do? They throw parties, that’s what. The best parties. Because, well, what the heck else do they have to do?

Tell me the last time you went to a bridal shower where you got to eat amazing food, drink homemade sangria, sit outside in the middle of a farm on the most beautiful day of the year, get a tan, and not have to watch the bride open a million gifts s l o w l y. Because apparently for every ribbon she breaks or cuts, that’s how many kids she’ll have. I ripped all mine and I don’t have 25+ kids. Can I get mythbusters on that one pahleese?

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