In March we went to a wedding. Instead of a guest book, the bride and groom decided to set up a station where the guests could write…well anything. Predict the future, give well wishes, or marriage advice to the newlyweds. I love that stuff, mainly because it can be anonymous. Which allows room for my real creativity, which I often do not share on here because I would embarass myself and others.

But anyway, the catch was, all of these notes were going to be put in a time capsule only to be opened on their first anniversary. As I got up from our table I told Dan I was going to write them something. He looked at me very seriously and said “Never go to IKEA together….but they need to know this now, not a year from now when it’s too late.”

There’s a family that lives down the street from us and I occasionally watch their kids. Occasionally being the key word because I don’t think the kids like me very much. Actually I know they don’t because they’ve told me. Man, you hide one plastic sword from a kid because he was trying to stab you and then it’s your fault when Halloween rolls around and the 5 year old pirate is swordless because the babysitter hid it in an awesome place that even she can’t remember.

Anyway, today the swordless pirate was getting his 5 year old check up shots, so it was just his younger sister. She decided we should  tolor.

Note: She cannot make the “K” sound.

Seriously, who let this just old enough to drink, not able to rent a car for another 4 more years get married? Apparently her parents did. But that’s because they knew how great a guy Dan is. That, and they were sick of her clothes on the bathroom floor and all the other things she didn’t pick up after herself.

Ah karma…if I believed in you, I’d say you look a lot like Dans clothes I pick up off the bathroom floor now.

I guess we still look like babies though because Dan gets carded buying cough syrup and I still get, “So what grade are you in?” What grade am I in? The I’m not sixteen and I’ve been married for 3 years, thats what grade I’m in. And then comes the whole, “Wow…you were so young when you got married, that’s great you found him so early on in life, but that’s definitely not going to last.” Except, they just think the last part because saying it to me would be pretty darn rude.

But If I could sum up the past 3 years of our marriage in one word it would probably be…easy. Let me let you in on a secret…Choose your love. Love your choice. Hey, it’s workin for us.

And on the left we have babies getting married. And on the right we have toddlers celebrating 3 years. Will we ever look old enough to buy cigarettes?

I was going through my phone and deleting old notes I wrote to myself. I found this list…

-Caps
-Pile of dirt
-Socks on bed
-Clothes thrown on floor
-Age is just a number
-Me eating fast

Past Grace is telling future Grace something…but WHAT?!

Last Friday husband and I booked a hotel down the shore because we had a wedding there the next morning and some genius decided to put a night club in the hotel, so there were beats playing til the morning hours which could clearly be heard and felt in our room. Only beats! Not even any words. And then I realized why, we were at the Jersey shore.

Since I couldn’t sleep because of the beats, Dan downloaded a white noise app on his phone for me, but when that didn’t work he sprang into action and called up the front desk saying all of the following:

Yeah, I know most people pay for this entertainment, but NOT in their hotel room.
You can move us to a different hotel room, or I don’t pay for the night. Which option do you want?
You’re going to offer me 10% off? Look if you pay to rent a car, you pay to get from A to B. If the car breaks down and you couldn’t get to your destination, would you get 10% off? No you’d get a full refund. I paid for a hotel room so I could sleep and I can’t because you built a night club down the hall. End result…full refund!

Ah Valentines day. It’s almost here. I can smell the “U R GR8T” sugary candy hearts and chocolate roses from my apartment. To be honest, I’ve never really celebrated the holiday like most people do. In high school my girlfren and I used to have Valentines Day dates. It wasn’t a bitter thing against love. It wasn’t a we hate men thing. It was a…I think you’re better company than any guy so lets have our own dinner date kinda thing. It was great, we always had so much fun!

I’m not anti V Day, but I also think it’s a silly attempt to celebrate love. In 1 Corinthians we read that love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. All of the things that love is, is not a once a year giving gifts kinda thing. So while I think the idea of celebrating love is great, I think Valentines Day is pretty far removed from what love is. I don’t want to be a downer and have nothing against those who go all out to celebrate, but there is something I find most annoying about the Holiday.

The most annoying thing has to be the amount of  mobile uploads of bouquets of flowers and heart shaped chocolates that will be added to facebook and twitter  tomorrow with captions like, “greatest boyfriend ever” or “best hubz everrrrr.” It’s like…congratulations you ALL got the same exact thing, real special. What I’m hoping to see tomorrow is something someone got that is actually worth posting a picture of. Ya know like, a 2 carat diamond ring in the bouquet of roses, a bouquet of roses he made out of oragami, a puppy, a Lamborghini, a hand made card, a poem he wrote that doesn’t suck or a million dollars. I don’t know something good and different.

I’ll be watching!

Dear hacker,

You have the worst job ever. You don’t get paid and at the end of the day what have you actually accomplished? Well in this case, nothing. Hacking into a big website or a Bank account or something is one thing. But hacking into tiny little blog about a girls life to insert some malicious code? I mean for reals, not that many people even read this thing. So I wouldn’t brag about that to your friends on your super geeky hacker forums. My password wasn’t that hard by the way, so not too impressive. Obviously you DON’T read my blog, because if you did, you’d know Husband is a ninja code master and it wasn’t too hard for him to figure out your little lame code shouldn’t be in my blog. Too bad you aren’t a reader though, since you sit at a computer all day you probably need to go on a major juice fast, which I could help you out with cause I’m a pro.

I’m a little mad at you though. Not that you hacked me, but that you had full access to my blog and you didn’t even guest post for me. You could have come up with something. I mean, even writing a fake post about how husband and I are getting a divorce. Now that would have done some damage, which obviously you find enjoyment out of but instead you gave me something to blog about. So thanks.

It’s hard for me to believe that you like to ruin peoples websites and computers for FUN! Your day is spent trying to make other peoples days miserable. So lame.

Let me guess how many girlfriends you have and how many pairs of coke bottle glasses. Zero. And 5 million.

Sincerely,
boymarriedgirl